Shine A Light - More Than A Miscarriage

Broadcaster Anna Daly and Wexford woman Kelly Comerford have spoken openly on South East Radio's Shine A Light program about the devastating impact of pregnancy loss, as calls continue for greater recognition, support and dedicated paid leave for women and families.

Anna Daly described the shock of suffering two miscarriages and revealed that she returned to work just two days after her second loss.

Anna said that while she was dealing with both the physical effects of miscarriage and the emotional impact of losing a pregnancy, she felt she simply had to carry on.

She said the absence of dedicated miscarriage leave can reinforce the silence surrounding pregnancy loss, leaving women to return to work while colleagues may have no idea what they have been through.

Anna is now supporting calls for paid miscarriage leave, saying formal recognition of the loss is almost as important as the number of days provided.

She said acknowledging miscarriage openly in the workplace could help remove some of the secrecy and stigma surrounding it and allow both women and their partners to speak more freely about what they are experiencing.

Ms Daly also stressed that pregnancy loss affects partners and wider families, saying men can sometimes be overlooked while attention understandably focuses on the woman who has miscarried.

Her comments were echoed by Wexford woman Kelly Comerford, who shared the loss of her son John following an extremely premature birth.

Kelly became pregnant in 2021 and began experiencing problems at around 15 to 16 weeks.

She described repeated visits to A&E before eventually being referred for further specialist care, where she was told that her placenta was beginning to separate.

At 23 weeks and three days, Kelly went into labour and was transferred from Wexford to Holles Street.

John was born extremely prematurely and was taken to the neonatal intensive care unit, where Kelly and her husband opted for full medical intervention.

For several days, the family held onto hope, but John later became critically ill and died.

Kelly recalled seeing doctors and nurses carrying out CPR on her baby before being told they could do no more.

She said the first time she was able to properly hold her son was after he had died.

The family later brought John home using a cuddle cot, allowing Kelly, her husband and their two older daughters to spend time with him before his funeral.

Kelly said the experience highlighted the importance of every maternity hospital having access to a cuddle cot, describing it as something grieving parents should not have to fight to access.

She also spoke about an earlier missed miscarriage in 2013, when she was 16 weeks pregnant.

Kelly said she was placed on a ward alongside other pregnant women, received no follow-up support and was expected to return to work afterwards.

She believes significant progress has been made since then, but says there is still more to do.

“There should be” guaranteed paid leave following miscarriage or pregnancy loss, she said, regardless of how far along a pregnancy was.

Kelly said counselling later proved hugely beneficial and urged other women experiencing loss to talk about what they have been through, whether with friends, family or a professional.

She also encouraged people supporting someone through pregnancy loss not to be afraid to acknowledge what has happened.

For Kelly, remembering and talking about John remains an important part of her grief.

She said she appreciates when people ask about him, mention his name or want to see photographs, describing him simply as “a part of my life”.

Both women believe greater openness around miscarriage and baby loss could help break down the silence which still surrounds the issue and ensure those affected are given the time and support they need to grieve.

Féileacáin, the national organisation supporting families affected by pregnancy and baby loss, is also reminding people that help is available at any stage of grief.

Nina Doyle from Féileacáin told Shine a Light that one of the most important messages for anyone experiencing a recent loss is that they are not alone.

The organisation, which is made up of bereaved parents, offers support to parents and wider family members, including grandparents and siblings. Supports include in-person and online meetings, play therapy for children, Memory Boxes, sibling teddy bears and cuddle cots in maternity hospitals.

She also stressed that grief has no timetable and that people whose loss happened many years ago are equally welcome to reach out for support.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is marked each October, with the global Wave of Light taking place on October 15th from 7pm to 8pm, when buildings and homes are illuminated in memory of babies who died through miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal loss.

Anyone who needs support can contact the Féileacáin support line on 085 249 6464

To listen back to the full episode visit the podcast section of our website

This program is funded by the news reporting scheme